You Can't F*ck Up Your Kids

January 6, 2020
Powers, a journalist and former Yahoo executive, suggests parents “do more for your kids by doing a lot less” in her upbeat and practical debut. As a mother of two, Powers experienced plenty of judgment, from peers and even strangers, for her parenting choices. In founding the Yahoo! Parenting website and, later, creating the #NoShameParenting movement, Powers sought to make people think twice before being critical of parents. Here, she covers all the relevant topics, starting with pregnancy and delivery, including debunking C-section myths. Not shying away from controversy, Powers takes on breastfeeding vs. formula feeding (“one of the biggest battle lines in the so-called mommy wars”) and discipline—she admits that she’s a “huge fan” of bribery, and, though not a believer in spanking, admits very occasional and mild spanking might work for some families. Powers liberally draws on personal experience, including her difficult childhood, and on expert opinions, books, and research studies. However, it’s her unflagging encouragement that readers will find most helpful. Asking readers to “focus all the energy” wasted on self-doubt “on the one thing that matters: loving our kids,” Powers provides parents with an appealing and easy-to-use primer. Agent: Todd Shuster and Justin Brouckaert, Aevitas Creative Management.

A manual to help parents chill the f*ck out. The title is at least partially tongue-in-cheek. Of course, you can screw up your children, but not due to all the minutiae you're likely worrying about. Journalist, mother, and first-time author Powers, who was the founding editor-in-chief of Yahoo! Parenting and currently runs the #NoShameParenting movement, lists five things that can absolutely scar your children, including neglect and skipping vaccinations. After getting those out of the way, she tackles many of the issues that keep parents up at night: Breast or bottle? Cry it out or co-sleeping? Stay-at-home parent or day care? While the author doesn't claim to be an expert on childhood development, her years of meticulous research and experiences as a mother have made her a connoisseur of parenting styles. She's heard the arguments and seen the data, and she's here to tell you that a great deal of what parents fret about doesn't really matter in the long run. If you need to let your kids watch another episode of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood so you can get dinner on the table, that's not going to change the overall trajectory of their lives--and speaking of dinner, quit worrying about picky eaters. Powers often uses wry humor to drive home her points--e.g., regarding birth plans: "Doesn't matter if you have an epidural or not, a C-section or not, or even if you swab vaginal bacteria all over your newborn." Beyond surveying some of today's hot child care topics, the author also discusses common questions that surface after the baby arrives. How much sex are other couples really having after kids? Can parents truly have it all? While a majority of the narrative deals with specific themes, Powers issues a general reminder that we live in a "hyperconnected" age in which "parents' worst fears and neuroses are manipulated by a promise of perfection that's unreal and unattainable." A well-researched, common-sense compendium on child-rearing.

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March 1, 2020

Journalist and founding editor in chief of Yahoo! Parenting, Powers parents two children herself and is the creator of the viral #NoShameParenting movement. She states that parenting today has become a blood sport, every decision fraught with anxiety and fear of judgment. Here, she tackles controversial parenting topics, including not breastfeeding, giving time outs, and letting babies cry it out. Parents are being too hard on themselves, and experts take advantage by using scare tactics fearful parents falsely buy into, argues Powers, who believes there's no such thing as normal and that many parents stress about decisions that simply don't have the impact they perceive they do. VERDICT Whether or not readers agree with all of Powers's ideas, she provides a thought-provoking look at parental judgment and solid ways for combatting it.

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